no i did not pay attention to your English class, i am so not good at my sentences.
besides i speak to languages, excuse my so not good writing in the following story.
wishing has no longer a meaning or sound in my soul or mind or anything.
like a car crash against a big truck, who survived? the big truck.
i am the car, i start my day by driving myself out of my bed, i take a smooth ride...
around evening when the sun is going down, and night is filling the city.
i can't see what's in front of me, there isn't enough light, but i continue driving.
cellphone is ringing, my hand reaches the cellphone, "Oh! i drop it", by my feet, i can't reach, i steer, i almost crash...but,
i answer the call, i listen, i say "Hello", even then my voice sounded happy.
just as soon as i hear, "I won't be needing you, business is..."
i see big bright lights in front of me, i can't do anything, the big truck smashes the poor little car.
i hear myself crying but i can't tell whether i'm crying in a dream, or i'm crying on the outside.
i wake up, i am in bed, my own bed, again. How did i get here?
i go out, my neighborhood is empty, no one around, i start the car.
i drive, can't remember the ride to the place i am now at.
i sit, i look at friends, they smile, i smile.
my open wounds are seem to be open, but i can't seal them, just yet.
after a few laughs and a few flashbacks of this accident, i go home.
again, i am now at home, i can't even look at my own self, the mirror in front of me.
my eyes are deep with sadness, with nothing but water coming out of them.
i go to bed, and i realize i am still alive and the "so car crashed" was nothing, and i am still here.
but why, why am i still here.
i go back and forth, till i fall into a deep dark hole, where no one can save and no one can tell me nothing.
the hole is filling up with water.
i realize i am not nothing with that "dam soul, the one lost in the car crashed".
my mind is full of questions with no answers and one of them is "What do you want from me god?"
things are never easy out here, everything chokes me to death, everything breaks apart the puzzle barely building by an 18 year old trying to do things.
this is not the first or last tragedy i know would be happening in the book of life.
how to find a way to heaven when you don't belong here?
or do you?
but for what?
for who?
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