I know i should of saved my other blog posts but i did not, myspace was dead so i deleted it and so went my blog too. goodbye.
Hurt, Anger, Drama, Feelings was in that blog, the guy who had destroy my so called image, in high school. The person who told me the rumor that he said, i will never know if it was made up or if it was true.
He was the guy who played the trumpet while i played the clarinet, thinking he could get me with his friend, he ended up getting with me. Crazy huh, but more crazy how i took all his lies, his so called love, the way he would say my name, the promises made, the tears cried.
It went back and forth to the same thing, not ready to be commited to one girl. the main point.
I was on cloud 9, when he would hold my hand and we would walk home.
One day, i was crazy madly in love with him, so i let go, my body, my soul, my whole tiny heart.
The pictures would reflect the happiness i had towards him.
One day everything changed he just said it ain't working, he made me suffer so much i can still recall the day i seen it with my own eyes, he had kissed her. He had seen my face.
I know karma is playing her game, you bad karma, i love you though i think you're doing a good job.
We never talked, after make up convos and more of the supposed loving, everything ended.
I had met, the one guy who i though was going to save me from sadness.
He, was a barber, the kind of guy who girls might go crazy for. At first, i did not like him because him, he was so full of himself, but him, he taught me things i would never ever forget.
It was fun while it lasted so they say, i've built love again, my god, i went back to goodie good things.
But one day it was good, the other day his jealousy would kill me, the kind that a girl cannot take.
I've always considered violence to be bad, especially domestic violence, a girl should never have to have to go through that, and i did.
I was mad at him for telling me things that were not true.
He struck me, my face, i felt dirty, he pushed me to the ground, he didn't feel bad.
He in fact only apologized once.
I am not perfect, and so was not him, the relationship lasted a few, it ended when i least expected.
I missed him, or the person i had met.
I miss so many things, the way kisses feel, the way i would care, and the things shared between two persons.
Loving me, i know, i always get my hopes up, and so i hear her words, my friend from high school words.
"Don't get your hopes up, you're going to end up getting hurt".
And so i just met this other person who i though would love me, and i kissed him, he said he's not that type of person. things slow or not, i do not see the chance of me and him fitting.
He said so many things and i'm sitting here thinking "You're just like everyone else".
Sometimes it's better being alone, after a while you fall back and try to love and believe there is love out there.
An empty bed, an empty heart, a lost soul, what's the best cure?
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