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FEARS. (UPDATED)

suddenly i seen my fears.

let's face our fears. 

learn to love your fears.

I said to myself, i would not write about Love...
I have a fear for...
1. Rats, Mouse, Mice. (Ewww)
2. Nasty Creatures such as worms and cockroaches.
3. Falling in a hole.
4. Being home-less.
5. Being Uneducated.
6. Falling in love and breaking apart.
7. Getting stuck in a dream.
8. Dying in a dream.
9. Fear of Heights.
10. Fear of Damage.
11. Fear of Darkness for more than just night.
12. Getting bit by a snake.
13. Getting stuck in a fire.
14. Staying lonely forever.
15. Having a bad relationship.
16. Killing someone out of anger.
17. Getting killed out of anger.
18. Death,
19. Failure.
20. Kill someone with kindness ;)

crushing this crush.

today when i wake up i want to be yours
being in the dream of being yours,
getting married to be called yours.
i am simple, like water, like air,
and i want to be your water and air.
yes, afraid to talk, say words i can't explain
explain words won't come out, can't talk.
i see you and your face,
ain't nobody can come in your place.
its just for me, i feel like it is, can it be like this?
i go and look to see if you are here,
climbing this feel let's see how i  feel.
i'm walking on a dream, the dream,
let's share the dream of being here,
with me, for me.
i say to myself i won't talk,
until you talk, read my mind,
but you just cant mind.
i'm not perfect, i'm no near perfect,
i fill myself with perfection 
but i'm no near of being perfection.
i write these words for you
hope you know, it's you.
i have a crush on your soul
maybe even on your face
and your smile.
its a shame we can't exchange a smile.
my life is going on now,
somewhere in between time,
i want to fight time.
hope i can be call your crush.

Love.

photo of you.

i found a picture of you,
i found a picture of me,
i tried putting them together but nothing was free.
your self was never free,
the envy in your eyes sat me free.
i want to meet you on the other side,
where my heart meets your side. 
i was looking at the picture
where a smile and a soul met,
to think it was all a bet.
i was so anxious, anxious to see you,
obnoxious to believe you, believe in you.
bring out the hate
enough for hate to spread
i was out of breath.
your mouth never kissed me
you kissed me and killed me.
yes, killed my poor ignorant self,
i was stupid to create the good image
when your image, now the bad
you bring out the bad!
think of me when you're far down the road, 
when the road closes think of me,
think of our picture, 
in a frame
in your head.
but most of all i'll think of the ashes,
that's right i'm all ashes
along with my picture
your picture.

Blog Post Number 11: Valentine's Day.

Dear Heart,

i know you're feeling lonely, this year the affection comes in a small package.

i don't have a 'partner' or 'a honey' to share or love and say "i love you".

the small package might be small, but its full of love for someone...

that someone hasn't come...

on the other hand, its full of affection from family, friends, etc.

i hate to admit, heart, but i feel like i been lonely for too long.

i remember the nights, the nights spent with someone, looking at the sky.

the kisses, the hugs, the love and affection, you know, i miss it.

i miss my heart going boom boom boom for someone.

i would give my life for my other half, because i rather have you heart,

then not feel like you've died.

they say money doesn't buy love, and i say money doesn't buy a heart.

you can't break a heart, they'll break your heart.

heart, i want to tell you, i apologize...

this year, i want to fulfill the joy by looking at couples and wishing it was me in their place.

the place in my heart needs filling.

its been broken, for a time, i need someone to fix it.

well...

happy valentine's day heart, more like FUCK valentine's.

it's like any other day this year. 

;)

love,

Jessica <3

Blog Post Number 10, The Hair I Like :)